Two Week Bikini Progress

So, I started my Bikini challenge a week early, just because I didn't want to wait. If I waited, I knew that I would be THAT much more behind. I would eat everything in sight, like I always do. It has officially been two weeks. I haven't cheated once. Over the weekend we went to a Food and Wine Truck festival with the family. There were 12 trucks that you could sample from. I sampled from 3. The old me would have been down with all 12 and much more. The new me saw a greasy slice of pizza and didn't even want it. Who is this person?? I have NEVER not wanted a slice of pizza. Not even when eating healthy before.  Like I have said, this time is just different. I have so many things going for me. I think this blog is my biggest support. It's what keeps me most excited. I hit a milestone and I can't wait to tell all of you. The other day I was at my MIL's house, we were discussing weightloss and I showed her where I tend to lose weight first. All of my weight is in my belly. I hate it, it hangs so low, it's just terrible. But she had mentioned that I was just going to have to have surgery to fix that. Then it clicked. A few months ago, before I gained the 20-30 lbs, I was feeling extremely down on myself. My stomach was already showing signs of loose skin. It was bad. I am 22 years old. I am not supposed to have loose skin! I finally got fed up with it and went to a doctor. Let me tell you, most uncomfortable appointment of my life even more uncomfortable than the womanly doctor. I was 250 at the time I saw him. He told me that I needed to lose 50 lbs and he would do the surgery. He showed me the amount of skin that he would cut off. It was insane. After the surgery, he told me my weight would be about 170-180. That is my ultimate goal. That is where I feel I need to be. I have set little goals. Each goal is 10 lbs. My big goal is 65. And my ultimate goal is 170-180 with the surgery. Some people my not agree. And that's okay. But coming from 317 lbs, I'm not going to lose all of my skin with working out. People carry their weight differently. It just so happens that I carry my weight STRICTLY in my stomach. My legs are not big, my arms really aren't big, I have like the worlds tinniest butt, it's really more like a crack. So that's the plan for me. And I won't stop until I reach my goal. The more I think about it, the more excited I get.

We went to Target last night, I was curious to see what the Bikini looked like on me, so I made poor Dayton take picture of me.

There isn't THAT much of a difference. I can see little bits here and there. My belly doesn't hang AS low. My under boob is smaller. And my back fat isn't as back fatty. and I look tanner. :) I'm proud for it only being two weeks. I know that I said that I would post every thirty days, but I've already posted pictures of myself in a bikini once. So.... I mean,  I can do it again if I want to. 

Original Post can be found HERE

I would like to have this done in a certain time period. I just don't want to be let down. So, I am just going to keep doing what I am doing. :)

And on that note, I must bid you adieu. 



Carwashing-Musical

Yesterday was such a beautiful day, I decided to wash my car. When I was little, I always used to wash my Papa's truck in the summer. (He would always say to me "Don't just half ass it.", I know. He's amazing.) As I was washing, this feeling came over me, and I just wanted to bust out in song. 

Sadly, I didn't have 6 other ladies with me. So I settled for this. 

I have been looking into the Whole30. I am falling more and more in love with the idea. There is a website that tells all about it. Whole30.com.  Emily @ The Swallow Flies has pretty much inspired me. She has completed the Whole30 and has decided to make it a lifestyle. She has meal plans up each week, go check  her blog out. The Whole30 has many benefits, not only does it make you healthier, and helps you drop pounds, it helps with medical issues as well! I am so excited to start this! I was going to start on the 1st, but I want to wait until I am done with my 24 day challenge so that I can be 100% dedicated to the Whole30. I would love to get more people on board. Make it a "blog challenge". It's pretty strict. But, I think it is HIGHLY worth it!!! 

Also, April has now turned into AB-pril. So, if you aren't following Jess @  Operation Skinny Jeans, you probably should be. I started a little early in the car the other day. Went a little something like this. 

AB-pril will be MY month just like these past two weeks in March have been. I have made the steps to change my life. I haven't had any urges to cheat. I haven't had any wants to stop. The scale has kept going down. That has been a motivation. My body changing has been a motivation. My followers and family have been a motivation. 83 more days until summer people. Let's see what we can do :)

And on that note, I must bid you adieu. 

Three Thanks Linkup. Love.Family.Future. :)

1.



I am thankful for his unconditional love. He makes my heart so incredibly full. There's always going to be speculations out there about your relationship. But as long as you are truly happy. That is all that matters. And we are. Probably the happiest people I know. We have two beautiful fur babies. We have been going strong for 14 months now. We bring out the BEST in each other. Our home is filled with lots of laughs, barks, coupons, sports, food network, bone fights, some patience, lots a paw prints, the legendary "what do you want for dinner? idk what do you want?" or "what do you want to watch? Idc, what do you want to watch?" and lots and lots of LOVE. Thank you for being the man I never knew I wanted, and the man that I will always need. Five ever baby.

2.



I am thankful for E. Rocket Rd. This road is the definition of family, I know that sounds silly. But, when you turn down this road, all of your problems disappear. The WORLD disappears. This is my safe haven. It's a little slice of Texas paradise. And of course, all of the people that mean the most to me are there. The ones I love more than anything. The ones that know how to love without boundaries. Who don't judge you, no criticism. They don't talk about you once you leave the room, most of the time they say it to your face and then everyone can laugh about it. For instance if you're a grown ass man and you get a tweety bird tattoo on your chest. But, I think that gives everyone the right to make fun of you. I think a lot of people lose the meaning of family. Its a bond that can never be broken, and should never be broken. I am very lucky to be blessed with E. Rocket Rd and the people who inhabit it. 

 

3.

My future. Now that I have the right tools, I know that I can change my path. I can make myself a healthier version. I can move forward. I know my career choice. I can set more goals and achieve them. I am also thankful I get to share all of these things while blogging. It has become one of my favorite things to do. I enjoy connecting with so many new people. It is such a great outlet. Y'all inspire me so much. Thank YOU!!!!

Everyone go follow Emily @ The Swallow Flies
She has such a beautiful soul.

And on that note, I must bid you adieu.



GymPlaylist

I woke up this morning feeling AMAZING. I ran yesterday, a mile. 14 Minutes. Back to my slowest time, but hey, I freaking did it! It felt wonderful. I forgot how much I loved/hated it. How weird is it that you can look forward to something yet dread it all at the same time? It hurt so good. I literally stared at myself the whole time. How creepy is that? I saw it as motivation. I couldn't get over how much shoulder "definition" I am developing. And by definition, I really just mean "Hey look, I actually have shoulders and not just a thick fat layer of... ugh fat.." I don't really know where I was going with that one. I used to ask people "What is your motivation?" hoping somehow I could find mine. I've found it. I am my motivation. I am the person that I have to beat. I am my only competition. So the person next to me looks better, So? I don't have to look at them naked in the mirror. I don't take showers with them. I don't walk with them

every day of my life.

As I get off the treadmill, I kid you not, here comes #skinnybitch. You could cut ice with the look that I gave her. Ask anyone that knows me, I cannot for the life of my control my facial expressions. I'm sure it was not pretty. I don't even know if I got a #stinkyeye from her. That's how intense it was. 

I'm the type of person who CANNOT run without my headphones in. I hate the sound of the gym. I can't stand to listen to my breathing, or my feet pounding on the treadmill/ground. Here's my top songs to workout to. (At the moment)

1. Jump by Rihanna- If you haven't heard it, I HIGHLY recommend you stop everything you are doing now, and listen. It's pretty raunchy, but I LOVE it. It is the BEST running song EVER. Keeps you pumped the WHOLE time. 

2. Mike Will Made It- 23 by Wiz Khalifa, Juicy J and Miley- My newest obsession. 

3. We Can't stop - Miley - I don't care how cray she is. I love her. And this song couldn't be more true. I can't stop and won't stop. Running. Not drugging. :)

4. Come and Get it by Selena Gomez- Super hot

5. Your body- Christina Aquilera- Again Super hot  

6. Diva by Queen B- Because that's my anthem 

7.Practice- by Drake

8. No Worries- Lil Wayne

9. Take It Out On Me by Florida Georgia Line- So damn Sexy.

10. Drunk in Love by Queen B and JayZ

These songs get me going. Songs that me feel "sexy" make me motivated.

What are you top songs?

And on that note, I must bid you adieu.

Weighin Wednesday/ (its a good one)

Y'all don't know how excited I was to get to this dang keyboard today!!!!

Today isssssssss

 I am about to tell the whole world how much I weigh.. That's a little scary. Dayton doesn't even know how much I weigh. Of course he will now. I have decided to tell the "world" because, I will never be this number again. It's not just a promise I am making to you, but a promise I am making to myself. I don't want to look like a failure to any of you. But most importantly, I don't want to be a failure to myself. I have felt that before. I felt it for the months after my surgery from not losing the weight. It is the worst feeling. The disappointment you feel from within can drag you down, more than any other disappointment in the world. You can't walk away from yourself. It's like a 317 lb toddler trying to sit on your foot and make you drag them across the room. It's physically impossible.

Yesterday I posted on Facebook and Instagram about a girl at the gym. Let me tell y'all the story. I get to the gym, I'm feeling great. Looking cute (as if that's a surprise), go take a selfie in the lockeroom, get on the stairs( go big or go home). Then I decided to go into the "Ladies area" to do some Ab workouts. Now, if I'm thinking correctly, the "ladies area" was made for ladies to go and workout with out men so they can feel COMFORTABLE while working out. Well, as soon as I walk in, this #skinnybitch (that's her name btw) gives me the stink eye. Every time I glance out of the corner of my eye, she's looking at me, almost as if she's "disgusted". First of all, I am the one that's DISGUSTED by your behavior. I am here working on myself. Just like everyone else. I don't need YOUR cloudy judgement. Need to get your damn eyes checked. Secondly, I am the queen of bitch face. You want to bring it? I will bring it harder. Thirdly, YOU, twat, are the reason "bigger" people are ashamed to go to the gym. If anything, I should be giving you that look, because you're done. And hogging all the equipment. Never look down on someone for trying to improve themselves. I have half the mind of walking in there today in just my sports bra and following her every where she goes. Do some jumping jacks, really make that belly jiggle.

Maybe a little of this.

ANYWAYS, on to the important stuff :)

Yesterday was the end of my 10 day Advocare Cleanse. (LINK HERE)

With the help on the Cleanse, exercise, and a serious change in my eating habits, here are my results :)

On Sunday March 16,2014 I weigh 275, This morning I weighed 268. A 7 lb difference.

I am happy with everything that has come from those 10 days. I saw those pictures and was absolutely blown away. TEN DAYS. That's all it took for that. What can happen in the next 10 days?? I do know that I am beyond excited for it. And won't give up. Because I want to see this progress. And I will see this progress!!! YOU are the only person who can make this happen.

Look Ma, one chin!

I am doing some research on a few things right now. I won't tell what, I don't want to get ahead of myself. I'm still reading up on it!! You will know soon enough!!

And on that note, I must bid you adieu.



 

Do you ever?

So, I have a weird obsession. It's kind of hard to explain. But I will take weekly photos, sometimes bi-weekly photos, of my face and compare to the prior weeks photo to see if there are changes... Does anyone else do that? Like, it's bad y'all. I will stare and stare until I find the SLIGHTEST change. I don't know why I do it. Maybe some sort of satisfaction? Maybe if I see some sort of change, It will push me even more?? I don't know. But, guess what... I did it today..... AND, I saw change compared to the one a posted last week. Great change actually.

 I wasn't going to post the picture, because I didn't want y'all to think I was crazy. But, then I thought....

This is my damn blog, if you don't like it GTFO ;) JK JK.

Back to the picture. I see a lot more chin definition. I feel it too. I feel such a HUGE difference in my face, shoulder and collarbone area. Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, LITERALLY. I am telling you people, small changes does WONDERS for you. My skins is so much smoother. I am still super tired, but I am going to blame that on the time change.. that happened what? 3,4 weeks ago? Worst time of year. Dayton's all like just think of how much more daylight we will have. And I'm over here like,

Do you ever talk to your puppies as your walking out the door? I always tell mine how much I love them and to be good. And then when I get home I sing to them... Does that make me weird?? Not just any song. I make up songs. Like "How much is that doggie in the kennel, the one with the prettiest face.." and then I'm done because I can't think of anything else. I'd like to think they appreciate it. At least I know Rigley does. She jumps up and down, and waves her hands in the air, like she just don't care. Ace just looks at me sometimes. Like he's looking into my soul. My goddamn soul, Annie. And then we move onto the back yard. Let me tell you a story about how vindictive my wiener dog is. He has a very strange way of telling you he needs to use the facilities. He likes to start playing with you. Okay, well any NORMAL damn dogs plays to play. Not to freaking let their owner know that they need to go take a leak. Well, Dayton and Ace are in there playing, I am cooking dinner. I'm not really paying any attention to them. Then all of a sudden I start stepping in wet, I figure well I guess I spilt some water? A few very wet steps later I look down. "Why no Kaela, you in fact didn't step in water, your vindictive ass dog decided to take a massive piss quite literally under your nose while your trying to cook dinner." Now, when Ace does something wrong, he knows it. He immediately goes to his kennel. I yell, Dayton gets up, and says "Oh my God". Now what possibly could it be now?? The f***er had a trial of pee from the oven all the way to his kennel. WHY?? Needless to say he spent quite a while in his kennel. Until HE decided it was enough. He knows how to get out. And I didn't feel like getting up to put him back. He came over and apologized. I know this because he licked my pee feet.

VinDICKtive little thing.

I listen to Pandora basically all day. All Genres. Most of the time love songs. Do you ever hear songs that make you just incredibly happy?? I hear at least 10 songs a day that make me think of Dayton and how much I love him. Or I'll hear a song and it will immediately put me in a mood to where I want to text everyone in my phone and tell them all how much I appreciate them. I am so weird.. I am quite an emotional roller coaster.

I am also an habitual weigher. I weigh myself AT LEAST 3 times a day. I know you're not supposed to, but I do it. Sometimes I weigh myself before and after potty breaks. Does anyone else do that? Dayton and I can't be the only ones. It's a game sometimes. Can be fun...

AND on that note, I must bid you adieu.



Wolf Pack

I have gotten so much support by posting my bikini picture. I am beyond blessed by it. It was so hard to push that publish button. My eyes were closed the whole time. I did it because I have nothing to hide. Clearly you can tell that I am a bigger person with close on. I am not here to impress anyone. The only person that I have to please is myself. If someone doesn't like what they see, guess what? Go to a different link. That's the beauty of Internet. I am living myself for ME and my love.

\

No truer words were ever spoken. I have had to completely re-vamp my thoughts this week. It has been a little tough. I haven't had a lot of cravings. I made dinner tonight, and like always, I wanted to devour my plate, and go back for seconds. BUT, I didn't. I was full. I forced myself to stop. Food is there to fuel your body. That's it. I am training my mind to accept that. I can't tell you how amazing this week has been. I have cut my calorie intake by over half than what I am used to eating. I am in no way starving. Is that not crazy? That right there tells you how much at ate before. I think with these changes, my stomach is going back to my "surgery stomach", that makes me so incredibly happy. 

The picture on the left was from New Years day, the picture on the right was from Thursday. I started my diet change on Sunday. Little changes. Already SO worth it. I am worth it. YOU are worth it. I would love to be able to just inspire one person. I started this blog at the absolute very beginning of my journey. With your support, I already feel like I can go all the way. I feel like we are all now all one big wolf pack. Yes, I said it. 

Ha, that's classic. 

I was looking up the calories on the Chipotle site the other day, since that is one of my weaknesses. I figured it wouldn't be THAT bad. WRONG. The bowl that I get is 1345 calories. Are you freaking serious???? That is just ridiculous. So, I switched it over to the Chik-fil-a site, 240 Calories for the 8 count nuggets that I get. :) I usually get the whole meal, but since I have started eating better and eating less, the 8 count satisfies me, and gets me full. I try to stay around 1200 calories. In the mornings I will eat the Jimmy Dean Delight bowls. They are super delish, and very filling. I don't really snack in-between breakfast and lunch, but if I do, I will eat the Chocolate peanut butter to-go and some Ritz crackers. I also found on Pinterest, if you are craving some sweets, to eat ONE serving (17) M&Ms, which comes out to be 180 calories. I know it's not the healthiest I can get. But, I am super picky, and I am doing what works for ME. Which is what you have to do, or ultimately, you will fail. And I'd say, it's working pretty darn well! 

I am sure as I go along, I will get better and better with the way that I eat things. I have introduced myself to more and more veggies. I have cut out fried foods completely (with the exception of the nuggets.) No more sweet teas, and if you know me, that is a HUGE deal. I do not drink soda unless it is Dr. Pepper 10. Water and my Spark mostly. Spark ALWAYS makes for a happy camper. 

And on that note, I must bid you adieu. 

You're your problem.

I know that I wrote about Dayton being my "happy" the other day, but I believe there are two different kinds of happy. There is the happy that you feel when you are with other people, and then there is the happiness that you feel within yourself. There has been multiple occasions where I have been upset and Dayton has made the comment "I just want to make you happy". He does make me happy. He makes me the happiest I have EVER been. But, I have to be happy with MYSELF. The only thing I am ever hard on myself about is my weight. I love everything else about myself. He tries so hard to help me. He will suggest things, "Are you sure you want that?". Ultimately, it's MY decision. If I want that damn donut, I'm going to eat that damn donut. He can slap it out of my hand. But chances are, I'm going to slap him, and then pick that donut up of the floor and eat it. #fatgirlprobz. And then there are times where I am eating healthy and he is not, and he wants a hamburger. So what? Why should he suffer because I have to? Life is about temptations. If I choose to get a hamburger with him, that's not him holding me down, forcing me to eat it. I have said it before, I'll say it again. I own every single pound that I have. Until you take ownership over yourself, and stop blaming others for your problems, then nothing with get resolved. It's easier to blame someone else than admitting you're the problem. When I was little my mom would try and limit the sweets that I had. My dad did not. If I wanted it, I got it. I would like to blame my eating habits today on that, but guess what? I am an adult. Adults can't blame their daddy for things. This is MY journey. I have stepped off the path countless times. Each time, it has been MY fault. If I am not happy, I search for reasons why am I not happy. Most of the time it is in my control. Happiness isn't hard to achieve. If you want something bad enough, you will do whatever you can.

"Just be happy" it used to sound so hard. If you think about it, its really not.

 

"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you HAPPY."

It is okay to be selfish sometimes. Especially when it comes to bettering yourself.

When I was at my heaviest, I never wanted to do anything. As I lost weight, I gained the confidence to go out and have fun. I didn't worry about my weight any more. That was one of the best feelings. Not feeling self conscience. I can't wait to feel that again. It'll happen slowly, but it WILL happen. Better slowly than not at all, right?

I'm not someone who can just make myself just start doing something, I usually fail when I do that. Things clicked this time, I met half way. There are things that I want more than fried fatty foods. I spent about $80 on a bathing suit last year. That is absolutely ridiculous.

I have dedicated Wednesday for my weighins. #weighinwednesdays. I have had awesome progress since Monday. I won't share today, just because it hasn't been a full week yet. So every Wednesday, expect to see a blog, and an update. Good or bad. I may even include the scale's number. Maybe....

If I stop now, then by next week I could gain 5 lbs. And I'm just that much further from my goals. I have to learn from my past in order to make a better present and future.

I OWN ME

And on that note, I must bid you adieu.

Stella got her groove back.

We did the 30 Day Shred Sunday, and OMG. I am still dying. When you look at it, you think, oh, that cant be THAT hard. Welp, you're wrong.

My ass was uncomfortable the whole time... So... Win?

Today is Day 3 of my 1 billionth transformation. I'd have to say, it is going quite well. I have eaten super healthy. Yesterday was day two of the shred, we didn't do it. I know what you're thinking, "Surprise, surprise". Well, we have a LEGIT excuse. My SIL was in an accident and we were at the hospital with her. That was one of the scariest things I have ever experienced. When all you can hear are certain words over the phone, your mind goes racing. Losing my best friend, would be one of my worst nightmares. Luckily, she is very blessed. Everything is just fine, and hopefully she gets to go home to beautiful baby Kynlee today.We have NO plans tonight. I am going to Target to pick up the puppy pads that I left yesterday, my (Dayton's) anticipated copy of Frozen, cook some spaghetti squash, and workout. A friend I met through the gym invited me to her bootcamp for next week, I am really excited about it, should be very interesting! 

  Sometimes I have to second guess myself to see if there really is a difference. I look so swollen. Like I got stung by a bee. I have never been skinny. I don't know what I will look like. Sometimes the thought scares me. What if I am ugly?? Some people look better fat.



I may have taken a few steps back. But, I can assure you, I will never be able to fit into those scrubs again. I will NEVER weigh over or close to 300 lbs again.

 Something has clicked inside of me. I don't know what it was, but I am so glad it it did. In three months, I want to be able to take another picture just like the ones above, and it be another huge change. I have shorts in my drawers that I have never worn. Brand spanken new.  My thoughts when I bought them? "Oh, I'll lose weight before its time to wear them." Does anyone else do that? Well, my thoughts now? I WILL fit into them. I am giving myself 2 months. I figure that's a fair goal. I don't want to make it too unrealistic and then beat myself up over it if I don't end up reaching it in time. So I guess that is my "small goal" for now. To fit into the shorts I bought last year. Gotta hit those small goals in order to reach your biggest goal. 

  

And on that note, I must bid you adieu. 

Sunday Change Day

For some reason I got a wild hair of confidence. I am embracing my body. Now, by no means I am happy with it, obviously. I am accepting it for what it is right now. I think its because I know things are about to change. I have committed my heart and soul to a challenge. I did something that I NEVER thought I would do. I posted a picture on instgram of me in a Bikini....WTH? I of course would never in a million years where a bikini. But, that's not the point. The point is to show myself what I can do. And to show everyone of you what I can do. I posted the picture to keep myself accountable. I have 90 days. 90 days to change my body. I'm not looking for a little change. I want a HUGE change. In my mind, body, and health. There is nothing I want more than to be healthy. In 90 days, I have little goals that lead up to one big goal. I want to at the very LEAST lose 10 pounds a month. I personally think that is very doable. Today we went and bought some weights, a medicine ball, a stretchy thing, yoga mats, and a Julian Michael's Yoga DVD. I am so ready. I am ready to kick my own ass. Last night while taking the dogs out, I did squats and lunges. It's little changes. I am an extremely picky eater, I have to find ways to eat healthy foods. At least a variety. So far I only like squash and zucchini. I am just ready. I am ready to be able to go into a store and not worry whether or not if they have plus size. I don't want to have to pay $50 for a t-shirt because there is "extra" material.When I get married I want to look beautiful in my wedding gown, I don't want to look back at my wedding photos 15 years down the road and look at how huge I was. Dayton and I would like to start a family one day, and I don't want to get pregnant at the weight that I am right now. I want to enjoy my pregnancy. I want people to be able to look at me and tell that I am pregnant, not just fat. I want this MORE than anything. Now, I have to start acting like it. Here's to day one. I always say that Monday is a perfect day to start. Well, that hasn't ever worked for me in the past. So, Sunday is my new start. If it hasn't working in the past, then change it up.

 

So here's to the new start (again). #90daystillsummer I will be posting progress pictures every thirty days. And my weights on the 90th day. :) not that confident just yet. 

And on that note, I must bid you adieu.